This is another straight-away-post! This time I just finished re-read Hana no Mizo Shiru for the nth time already. I don't know how many I've reread this manga, I just love the story too much and the artwork is just too beautiful too.

Well, I just want to write about how much my chest hurts after I finished reading this -like, everytime, even though I know the story well already, even though I've read it too many time.

Personally, I will say that the main character's nature is a quite the same with mine -but this is a syndrom that will make us the reader feel like "ohmy, this article is so me!" (usually it's a horoscope article or something like that), so, well, please excuse me for that issue.

Misaki Shouta's character is quite similar with mine; the 'go-away-I-can-stand-by-myself' thing, and the contradiction of it as well; the 'I-need-you-so-much-so-please-don't-leave-me-alone-will-you' thing.
Uhm, please bear with this embarassing post. I don't even sure why I write this on the first place.

What makes me like this manga too much is the author's beautiful angsty story here. Is this manga can be categorized as angst? I don't know, but this makes my head and my chest hurts so much every time I read this so -well, I considered this thing as an angst, for me, though. Or is it hurt/comfort?

I remember when I read this manga for the first time, when I finished it, I leaned on the wall and sighed and did that fangirl pose when you just see something beautiful, like when you see two cats cuddle together and you went like 'Aaaaahhhh so cuteeee it hurts ohmyohmy I can die in peace right nowwww'

. . . . . d-do you u-understand it?

I mean, look, when Misaki regretted himself why he's born as a boy instead of girl, and look at his expression there -it's so damn sad and Takarai Rihito-sensei doing a great job on her drawings there!
And my most favourite part is the extra on final chapter, when Arikawa was leaving Misaki because his mom called him to help with the chores since his grandma collapsed. It's my favourite, but it also so damn sad and sweet and 'I can't take it anymore!' mixed together.

When Arikawa didn't show up because he needed to stay in his parent's home longer, Misaki slept in Arikawa's room because he missed him and he wondered why two weeks can be that long.
It's like Misaki missed Arikawa but he could do nothing since he know that Arikawa can't go home straight away for him. Misaki started to forget how lonely he was when he was left by his grand father. And when he smashed himself in the pile of Arikawa's futon in his room, it hits me. I don't know why, but it just hits me. Then the first thought that crossed my mind is how nice if we have someone to wait for, to be held when we are in hard times, to be talked to if we feel bad, and to be randomly hugged just because we feel like it.

Oh, well, this kind of relationship is not a 'high-school romance life' step anymore, I think. Blame all that fanfiction and all that yaoi manga I've read all this time!

But weirdly, I never feel such a tight feeling like this when I read normal romance fiction. You know, even if it's not a full-romance story, books like Divergent and The Hunger Games - their stories are good, really, they need to survive together and that's sweet, ikr, but, nah, they are good, and that's all! Just good, nothing more. But when I read a yaoi fanfiction, or a yaoi manga like this amazing work of Rihito-sensei, sometime I got this feeling. Screw my mind.

And, back to the main topic of this lame post, I think it's not "oh, their character is quite the same with mine!" but "I envy them because they have someone to take care of them."
It's pretty different, then.

Sorry I can't think straight -it's twelve thirty in the morning right now.

Still, the sentence is correct. It doesn't have to be a lover, actually, a friend, a very close friend is enough. Since I don't really have a friend like that, so, well, maybe it's only my nature to want something like that....
Nah it's sounds like a pervert ohmygod.

Last word!!! Hana no mizo shiru is a great work -no doubt, and... and I like it too much...
(I erased my original sentence.)

Please just ignore what you've read just now, thank you.

Good night!

Labels: curcol, HIGHSCHOOL, Japan Night, manga, Night