I am stressed out. Aside from it is actually exhausting, but what I’m doing to repel my stress is even more exhausting. I am becoming the dream me; a not-socially-awkward version of me, sending jokes to everyone, doing something silly out of the blue, and everything I will not do when I am not stressed. But when it’s bed time, I will sigh and think about “why the heck am I doing these things because of my stress”. It is more tiring than just sitting around, making hopeless face, not wanting to do anything, or any other thing that usually people do when they are stressed out. And because of that, people sometimes mistake that as a usual version of me, the normal one, not the stressed out one.
My normal version of me? I will sit silently, headphones on, with sketchbook and or book on my hand, and not talking to everyone. I won’t appear on the group-chat, nor I will send funny pictures repeatedly.
It wasn’t me, who send those silly pictures. It was the stressed out version of me. And it makes me tired, even more than the real reason why I’m stressed out itself.
Labels: rambling
