Hello.

It's 6:58 pm when I write this. I'm still alone in the house. Taking care of two different houses scared me a little, but I think I handle it well. The only thing that matter is the cats, because today I couldn't find any fishes for them, so they just eat the catfood for the whole day and I felt bad for them. Sorry, cats, but I will buy you some fish tomorrow.

I'm back to my morning schedule tomorrow, which is a convenience thing because if I had the morning schedule back today, I think I couldn't manage the time that well. Today is the last afternoon schedule, and I woke up at 4 am in the morning, which was a surprise for me because I slept at nearly midnight on the night before. Usually I will wake up around five thirty, haha.

I think because I was left with a responsibility that I'd never have before, I was a little bit taken aback because of that. I never left alone more than 48 hours before. Usually my parents will leave at morning, and they will come back around midnight or so. The difference with this time's is that I don't know when they will come back home.

Don't take it wrong, alone in the house is fun. I mean, I can do everything I want and nobody can forbid me to do so. I recorded a short vlog right after the whole family left, and I made a simple song at 11 pm. I could sing along with my 5 Seconds of Summer's songs when I did the dishes, and I could sing every time I want.

It just that when I can rule the whole house by myself, I need to manage it well. I mean, like, how much rice that I will cook in the morning; what will I eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner; what will the cats eat in the morning; and etc. I think it will be easier if there's only one house, but I got two houses on my first experience, plus 5+ cats on the second house, so if I handle one single house I think I can do it very well.

And I realized that I'm such an organized person. I mean, don't judge from my own messy room, haha. But I think I need to be scheduled all the time, like, what will I do first in the next morning? What will I do after that? I need to know my schedule for the whole day before I can sit back and relax.

I don't know if it can be considered as a panic attack, since it is followed by my responsibility to both houses, but I think I usually like this. It just making me a little bit worried if I can't keep track to my schedule well. How if I come late to school? How if I can't feed my cats before I go to school? How if I can't find any fishes for the cats?

Wow, wait, Alice, stop.

Actually it's a good thing to think about various probabilities, hahaha. But it's making me think too far and I will end up being pessimistic, lmao.

Oh, just now my mum called me. She told me that she hadn't take a bath for two days, haha. They were on Siloam Hospital, fourth floor, and they was accompanying my grandpa. The whole family was there; my two aunts, my two uncles, and my mum. She told me she would come home by tomorrow with my dad and my sister. The foods there are so expensive, they said. It was 27k rupiah just for a single glass of avocado juice, which is can be afford for only 5k rupiah in here.

Anyway, I can't deny that this thing is a little bit exciting for me-

Just now my uncle called me; my uncle which is live in Singapore; he asked if everything's okay here, and if I can handle this loneliness alone (what). It's sweet, you know, knowing that he didn't even need to worried for my condition, lmao. I think because it's such a big house, and his daughter had never left alone in the house before. I feel like I'm treasured for the first time in my life, lmao. No, don't be a drama queen, Alice.

Ok, let's continue.

Anyway, I can't deny that this thing is a little bit exciting for me, because I never experienced this, and this can't be happening twice, right? The borderline between my sadness and that excited feelings are very thin. I feel bad for that, really, I think it's such an inappropriate thing to be think about.

I don’t know if something's wrong with me, because I felt this way for almost every tensed event like this; like when someone's dead or someone's getting a serious illness. It is exciting for me, can't you feel the excitement, people? Am I being an emotionless person? Lol. It's not like I'm not sad, but I can't help this feelings.

Well, I need to settle many things here. I haven't take a bath yet, and I still have no dinner. I need to wash the dishes, and think about the next day's schedule.

Living alone is great, but the responsibility is just also great, sighs.

I don't know why I make this journal here, haha. I will leave this here, then.

Finished @ 8:01 pm