So one night I accidentally watched this video, which was really touched my heart, haha. The video is a song by BTS's Leader, Rap Monster, titled Too Much. (I will write his name as Kim Namjoon after this, because... I like his Korean name more haha). Then maybe right after Namjoon uploaded his song into their SoundCloud, he made a vlog related with it. It's an old vlog, he recorded it (or uploaded it into BTS official channel in YT) on May 13th 2014.
This is the first time I watch Namjoon's vlog, because I've been preoccupied by Taehyung's or Jungkook's hahah. This is the first Namjoon's vlog I ever watch, and I already surprised by its content!
Well, firstly I didn't understand what he was saying. But then I realized he was talking about his newest show. I didn't exactly know what show it was, because, hey, I'm still new to them. But, I'm sure it's about being himself, based on his words in the video. I am me. Although he is now an idol, but he is still the old him. While I watched that vlog, his gesture was different with the usual Kim Namjoon who I watched on BTS dumb videos (sorry) like Bangtan Bombs or another reality show. Maturity. His mature side was very eye-catching on that video.

What can I get from that deeply-impressed video is; Idol is just a normal human like us. Namjoon said that after he debuted, he felt like hesitate. And compared to what he always said on his fans during interview, 'go find happiness', he actually confused whether he have found his own happiness or not. He felt like lost. But it's okay, like what he said on his vlog, it's okay to got lost once. Because it's normal. Everyone will pass that phase.

We always dream if we become an idol we will much happier, and all famous with those endless fans. Standing up in a big stage, achieving many awards, or recording our own reality show. If we really debut, and become an idol, it is possible that we will have the same thought like Namjoon. We already reach our goal, but are we really happy? With the busy schedule, thousand of showcases, tons of photoshoot, endless practice...  I think what Namjoon wrote on the latest BTS_Festa's "Profile Written By Me" was nearly true. It has a column ask to write their most like and most dislike thing. The other member wrote the truth too, like Suga and Jin disliking dance, and Jimin disliking V haha. But uri leader wrote 'BTS' on both column, followed by another usual things he liked and disliked. So, he disliked BTS because of his responsibility with his position as a leader? Or because of his tiredness during his times when he become a member of BTS? We don't now. Only Namjoon and the God know.

The idols are normal people too; they need to rest, they need to refresh their mind as well. That's why I think overwork is not good. SMEnt did that, didn't they? The latest news was from EXO's Kris. Although I'm not an EXO fans, I hear that news because it's making my timeline crowded and noisy, haha. Well, if we want to talk about SMEnt overworking its artists, it's not the right time. Maybe next time.

Well, the conclusion is?
Seriously, I even don't understand what just I write. Some random thoughts on the middle of night.
Forgive me with those grammatically errors, and please don't try to understand what am I writing up there. I'm just surprised with this side of Namjoon.
Actually, he shows this side of his on his songs. He always make a deep meaning song, like Too Much and...and some songs on BTS album are have a great deep meaning too; like Tomorrow and We On.
Talented boys, very proud of them /clapped hands/

So! It's 11:02pm already, this is Alice's log, the end!

And Happy First Anniversary for BTS! It's July 13th anyway, but in Korea it's 13th already, right? :D
Good luck, and prove your name's meaning!

Labels: ???, BTS