The truth is, yes, I am.I can hardly care about someone if I don't know he/she closely. But it's not like I'm a heartless person. I can be a lovely person if you want but not this month. To be honest, I'm quite tired of everything that happened since October. Too much pressure, too much tiring days, too much control, too restrict. Everyone will say something like 'It's just like that' or 'That is usual' or maybe 'It's always the habit', but, really, this is too much.
I admit it. I am a coward, I am afraid to step out from the safety zone, I am not strong enough, mentally. Usually I can hold back those feelings but I think this has reached the limit. It's like you ask an elephant to walk through a fragile bridge. The rope will broken off and the elephant will fall down and -maybe- die down there.
If it's not because of something, I will quit.
Like those 'cowards' -you told me so- who has quit earlier than me.
They are free now, they don't bound by something 'sacred' which always overriding something called friendship.
Well, true friendship is needed, but this is too much.
In fact, if I quit I will have no reason to not telling the truth and I don't have anything to be afraid of -in the sense of 'something'-.
I may be break out from this circle.

Oh yes, I'm thinking of myself right now.

You are tired, we are tired. Someone always said that they are more tired than us but we are on the different period. My curriculum is new, that someone can't say that they know 'our tiredness

What ever.'.